Tuesday, May 8, 2012

It's January in May

MOOD:  Yawning

It was a few days ago, when I unofficially got my lobbying campaign started off for 2PR FM.  Today was when everything kicked off officially, with new announcements going to air on 2PR from tomorrow, and press releases going out today to the ABC, Sydney Morning Herald, and only moments ago, to the St George Leader.

Running like an athlete it feels like everything is in full motion, but oh god, again, it's like something is missing, the absence of momentum, adrenalin, the reaction, it's just total silence. 

It feels like the first week of January, you know the kind when everybody is hung over from New Year's Eve, and no-one seems to be reachable.  It's the sense of trying so hard to do something, and it's almost like reaching out from the bottom of a long deep canyon.

Trying to get the message out, I also tried posting some material to the Asperger's Support Group, DTV Forums, and just for the hell of it, the Vogue forums.  I was unable to get through to none of them, two of which I think were already noting my material as spam. 

Yes, the key word "Spam", which is the word I'm speaking of today; it's used so easily, but maybe overwhelmingly too easily.   It's kind of difficult seeing that my efforts of lobbying for my radio station, are being compared to things like fake lottery wins, Nigerian scammers, and all the other rubbish associated with the word "Spam".

What I'm feeling again today relates directly to the blog I wrote in December 2010 titled "Out of mind, Out of sight".  It's the principle in which it doesn't matter how hard one tries; they'll never break through that cast iron psychological wall that society throws up at them.  Living with Asperger's Syndrome is a virtual prison. 

It was kind of funny today when I was going along doing my stuff.  I felt like the bank robber, but actually just trying to do something good.  Imagine the guards that go up protecting the bank teller in a flash, this image reappeared several times in my mind today. 

I just don't know what it is.  As enthusiastic as I am about something, I feel like I'm forever swimming in this strange kind of muddy swamp where it's just impossible to get anything done.  

I just can't emphasise enough how important it is to have contacts in the right area, without them, I feel like I'm pushing mud up a hill.

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